This is something I haven't even realized I was struggling with until you just brought it to my attention. I'm realizing now that I'm subconsciously trying to place Sita in an environment where she is respected and strong but then Rama turns around and treats her as an inferior. The female roles do jump around a lot and it does scramble my head. You make a very good point that there are only two roles the women in the story fit into. It is quite disheartening and shows how outdated these gender roles are.