Before: Though these are the most commonplace understandings of the creation story, it can be seen from looking at the Biblical account that no finite gender hierarchy was established; whereas Eve is often understood to be Adam’s inferior helper, a better view of her is as his equal partner in creation. Yet, despite this, the complementarian perception of men and women being separate but equal still pervades many modern Christian circles. Because this outlook establishes women as the lesser of the two sexes, there are often more negative implications for women from this story than there are for men.
After: Though these are the most commonplace understandings of the creation story, we can see in the Biblical account that no finite gender hierarchy was established; whereas people often understand Eve to be Adam’s inferior helper, a better view of her is as his equal partner in creation. Yet, despite this, the complementarian perception of men and women being separate but equal still pervades many modern Christian circles. Because this outlook establishes women as the lesser of the two sexes, there are often more negative implications for women from this story than there are for men.
I think using the first person pronouns and changing the passive voice in the original excerpt makes these sentences less awkward. Additionally, by using the "we," the thesis I am making is more engaging and includes the audience in the conclusion more than just making the statement that "it can be seen."