Before: There are people today who still argue against egalitarianism and full equality between men and women because to them, this text clearly indicates that the female sex should be subservient to the male sex. In this narrative, Adam was given dominion over all of the creatures of the earth and the ability to name them. People have argued that in naming Eve, it is implied that he also has dominion over her, and therefore this should be the model that is followed for all men and women.
After: There are people today who still argue against egalitarianism and full equality between men and women because this text seems to indicate that women should be subservient men. In this narrative, Adam was given dominion over all of the creatures of the earth and the ability to name them. People have argued that Adam's naming of Eve implies his dominion over her as well, and therefore this should be the model that is followed for all men and women.
I think taking out some of the clutter in the first excerpt helps the sentences to flow more smoothly together. The discussion is made a little clearer by removing some of the excess phrases and the words "it" and "that."