smart sentencing, baby!

smart sentencing, baby!

by Deleted user -
Number of replies: 3

Before: A human might not be evil by themselves, someone may insist that they are being influenced by Satan to act that way.

After: Satan could very well be puppeteering humanity for his wicked game.

Before: Satan travels back to Hell after this, fully expecting his fellow demons to be praising his name.

After: Satan gleefully returns to Hell after this, anticipating praise and worship from his fellow demons.

Ohhh, hell yeah. The removal of "be" really forces you to get more creative with your words. I think it makes mine both clearer and more interesting!


In reply to Deleted user

Re: smart sentencing, baby!

by Deleted user -
this does sound a lot better! it really helped in my work too! It is interesting how different it sounds
In reply to Deleted user

Re: smart sentencing, baby!

by Deleted user -
I really love what you did here! It is super creative and a joy to read.
In reply to Deleted user

Re: smart sentencing, baby!

by Deleted user -
Hey Gale! These sentences are great! I really like your use of "puppeteering." Taking out "be" verbs helped me as well.