The one-page synopsis of Man with the Iron Hand. I've already done one for this story last semester in Screenwriting, but I wanted to start fresh with this iteration with new reasoning for the lack of guns and more expansion on the antagonist's motivations.
Here is the revised One-Page Synopsis.
In reply to Trenton Feehan
Re: Trent Feehan - MWTIH One-Page Synopsis
Just replying to Moodle for the record (I believe I already sent you this):
Good additions. Regarding the “populist movement,” you’ll need to explain what you mean by this. It can mean different things depending on context. But I like the idea that Jameson thinks of himself as a populist, but really he has just replaced the previous establishment and created his own establishment. Similar to how the communist overthrew the czar in Russia, but they were just as bad as the czar.
Good additions. Regarding the “populist movement,” you’ll need to explain what you mean by this. It can mean different things depending on context. But I like the idea that Jameson thinks of himself as a populist, but really he has just replaced the previous establishment and created his own establishment. Similar to how the communist overthrew the czar in Russia, but they were just as bad as the czar.
In reply to Teddy (Robert T) Champion
Re: Trent Feehan - MWTIH One-Page Synopsis
Getting better! The structure works. Here are some suggestions for details to incorporate in the treatment.
In the opening, have an explanation for why Thomas happened to be nearby and witnessed the murder. Perhaps he was tracking some of Steelmonger’s henchmen.
When Carter recognized Thomas as a “legend,” have some backstory prepared for this. How will you convey his exploits to the audience? Either through Carter’s dialogue, or perhaps some town people recognize him and ask him to help, reinforcing Carter’s claim that he is a legend.
Also, to help set up the ending about Thomas priding himself on being a swordsman, work in some backstory about his family’s blacksmithing.
I like that you finally introduced a firearm. Finding ammunition might be a challenge as well. Perhaps they get the gun in one scene, find some ammunition in another scene, but it doesn’t quite fit their model of gun, so somebody has to reconfigure the gun so that ammo will fit.
PP2 is still not as strong as it could be. Instead of a “saloon routine,” perhaps they could learn of some business operations routine. For example, Steelmonger likes to do surprise inspections of his various factories, and he doesn’t seem to have a regular routine, but somehow Gideon leaks that he knows where Steelmonger will be.
The closing is nice. As I said above, be sure to set it up earlier that he prided himself on his swordsmanship. And why? Being bested in a duel just guts him. But, what else does he have to live for? There must be something.
To elaborate on what I mentioned above, add complexity to the story by explaining that Steelmonger’s operations drove smaller blacksmiths out of business. Perhaps former blacksmith allies decided to join Steelmonger back in the day, but they realized they lost their soul, and they never made the individual profits they were promised.