Nightwalker One-Page Synopsis 2.27.22
Ok, I believe I responded but the multiple versions have me confused:
In Act 1, it might be interesting to withhold his sleeplessness from the audience for a while. Everyone applauds his work ethic and has pity about losing his mom. They assume he is sleeping fine, until he starts to have anxiety in class.
Correct the mixed up names (Eli).
PP1 is actually the first night walk, not getting the pills. This should be considered the true beginning of the journey. But what is Patrick’s journey?
Act 2 needs much more happening. Create more obstacles. Perhaps the first of the traps happen in the middle of Act 2. PP2 could then be some kind of “ultimate” trap or escalated attempt to solve the mystery.
The ending is still too weak. Give the father and daughter more of a backstory. Make them active characters.
Patrick needs more of a character arc. What are moments of joy that he might experience? The tragic ending is fine, but there needs to be hope somewhere
In Act 1, it might be interesting to withhold his sleeplessness from the audience for a while. Everyone applauds his work ethic and has pity about losing his mom. They assume he is sleeping fine, until he starts to have anxiety in class.
Correct the mixed up names (Eli).
PP1 is actually the first night walk, not getting the pills. This should be considered the true beginning of the journey. But what is Patrick’s journey?
Act 2 needs much more happening. Create more obstacles. Perhaps the first of the traps happen in the middle of Act 2. PP2 could then be some kind of “ultimate” trap or escalated attempt to solve the mystery.
The ending is still too weak. Give the father and daughter more of a backstory. Make them active characters.
Patrick needs more of a character arc. What are moments of joy that he might experience? The tragic ending is fine, but there needs to be hope somewhere
In reply to Teddy (Robert T) Champion
Re: Nightwalker - BUTLER - One-Pager - 5.9.22 - UPDATED
by Deleted user -
Here is my updated "one-pager" synopsis.