Replying to Moodle for the record (I already sent you this in an email):
Now you have changed it to end with a long court case and judgment against Tim and Jace. They lose the first tournament in the final in Act 2, and Act 3 is mostly the aftermath. This is fundamentally weaker. This movie’s climax should be a Rocket League game. You can keep the trial and move it to the end of Act 2. Let Act 3 be a re-do of the tournament.
Here is how to set that up:
The trial in Act 2 ends with Tim and Jace being found guilty, but the officials don’t actually have enough evidence to show the Osborn team was directly involved. So they allow Ben a second chance in the finals, and he gets to pick new teammates from some people he thinks he can trust.
In Act 3, as they are progressing through matches, Ben begins to do unorthodox tactics, and then you reveal that he knows his new teammates are sabotaging him, just like Tim and Jace did. Ben wins because he understood how to counteract all the cheating.
Good extra details in the setup act, provides motivation and backstory
You still need to explain “benefits” for Tim and Jace. In your email, you say a benefit is “deals” with developers. That can work, but actually write it in your 1-pager.
Now you have changed it to end with a long court case and judgment against Tim and Jace. They lose the first tournament in the final in Act 2, and Act 3 is mostly the aftermath. This is fundamentally weaker. This movie’s climax should be a Rocket League game. You can keep the trial and move it to the end of Act 2. Let Act 3 be a re-do of the tournament.
Here is how to set that up:
The trial in Act 2 ends with Tim and Jace being found guilty, but the officials don’t actually have enough evidence to show the Osborn team was directly involved. So they allow Ben a second chance in the finals, and he gets to pick new teammates from some people he thinks he can trust.
In Act 3, as they are progressing through matches, Ben begins to do unorthodox tactics, and then you reveal that he knows his new teammates are sabotaging him, just like Tim and Jace did. Ben wins because he understood how to counteract all the cheating.
Good extra details in the setup act, provides motivation and backstory
You still need to explain “benefits” for Tim and Jace. In your email, you say a benefit is “deals” with developers. That can work, but actually write it in your 1-pager.