This was written in a rather crunched time span amid a busy weekend, so my sincerest apologies for any errors. I will also provide the .PDF version just in case.
Good job getting it completed.It shows some improvement from the December treatment from MFS 222. However, there are still details you should add. See my comments in the margins. Let me know if you have any difficulty accessing them.
I look forward to reading your pages, but also try to address some of these comments and work them into another treatment draft.