Short Screenplay-Averi Hathcock

Short Screenplay-Averi Hathcock

by Averi Hathcock -
Number of replies: 1

Subject: A young woman (Caitlyn) is holding out hope for an engagement ring from her deadbeat boyfriend (Joseph).

Ending: After she receives a "hey girly" message on Instagram, Caitlyn finally dumps Joseph.

Beginning: Caitlyn is eating lunch with her best friend, complaining about Joseph, and her best friend encourages her to breakup with him.

PP1: After Caitlyn gets home, Joseph asks her for some money and she decides to give it to him.

PP2: Joseph forgets it's Caitlyn's birthday and goes out with his friends to her favorite restaurant. 

In reply to Averi Hathcock

Re: Short Screenplay-Averi Hathcock

by Teddy (Robert T) Champion -
This has good potential for either a comedy or drama. Which is your approach?

I don’t think your wording for PP1 makes sense. But it’s easy to fix. It should be a moment that the main character COMMITS to achieving some goal. After PP1, she should try to pursue the goal but runs into obstacles in Act 2.
If the climax in Act 3 is the “hey girly” text, then I suggest part of Act 2 is Caitlyn trying to determine whether Joseph is cheating on her. Then PP2 (the end of Act 2) could be a reversal where she is satisfied that he is not cheating—he was simply hanging out with his friends. He apologizes and seems to hint that he plans to buy an engagement ring. Then the climax (the “hey girly” text) happens.

Does that make sense? Or do you see it happening differently?