IN THE HOTEL OF LOST LIGHT

 1

 In the left-

hand sag the drunk smelling of autopsies

 died in, my body slumped out

 into the shape of his, I watch, as he

 must have watched, a fly

 tangled in mouth-glue, whining his wings,

concentrated wholly on

 time, time, losing his way worse

 down the downward-winding stairs, his wings

 whining for life as he shrivels

 in the gaze

 from the spider's clasped

 forebrains, the abstracted stare

 in which even the nightmare spatters out its horrors

 and dies.  

 

Now the fly

 ceases to struggle, his wings

 flutter out the music blooming with failure

 of one who gets ready to die, as Roland's horn,

 winding down from the Pyrenees, saved its dark, full flourishes

 for last.

 

2.

In the light

 left behind by the little

 spiders of blood who garbled

 their memoirs across his shoulders

 and chest, the room

 echoes with the tiny thrumps

 of crotch hairs plucking themselves

 from their spots; on the stripped skin

 the love-sick crab lice

 struggle to unstick themselves and sprint from the doomed  position-

and stop,

 heads buried

 for one last taste of the love-flesh.

 

3 Flesh

 of his excavated flesh,

 fill of his emptiness,

 after-amanuensis of his after-life,

 I write out

 

for him in this languished alphabet

 of worms, these last words

 of himself, post for him

 his final postcards to posterity.

 

 4

I sat out by twigfires flaring in grease strewn from the pimpled limbs of hen,

I blacked out into oblivion by that crack in the curb where the forget-me blooms,

 I saw the ferris wheel writing its huge, desolate zeroes in neon on the evening skies,

 I painted my footsoles purple for the day when the beautiful color would show,

 I staggered death-sentences down empty streets, the cobblestones assured me, it shall be so,

 I heard my own cries already howled inside bottles the waves washed up on beaches,

 I ghostwrote my prayers myself in the body-Arabic of these nightmares.

"If the deskman knocks, griping again

 about the sweet, excremental

 odor of opened cadaver creeping out

from under the door, tell him, 'Friend, To Live

 has a poor cousin,

 who calls tonight, who pronounces the family name

To Leaves she

changes each visit the flesh-rags on her bones."

 

5 Violet bruises come out

 all over his flesh, as invisible

 fists start beating him a last time; the whine

 of omphalos blood starts up again, the puffed

 bellybutton explodes, the carnal

 nightmare soars back to the beginning.

 

 6

 As for the bones to be tossed

 into the aceldama back of the potting shop, among

 shards and lumps

 which caught vertigo and sagged away

 into mud, or crawled out of fire

 crazed or exploded, they shall re-arise

 in the pear tree, in spring, to shine down

 on two clasping what they dream is one another.

 As for these words scattered into the future-

 posterity

is one invented too deep in its past

 to hear them.

 

7

The foregoing scribed down

 in March, of the year Seventy,

on my sixteen-thousandth night of war and madness,

in the Hotel of Lost Light, under the freeway

 which roams out into the dark

 of the moon, in the absolute spell

 of departure, and by the light

 from the joined hemispheres of the spider's eyes.

 

 


Last modified: Sunday, 8 November 2020, 1:07 PM